Making peace with my “weight”
Oh how I remember this feeling.
I actually have not been on a scale for many years. It actually became an obsession for me.
I am a work in progress.
Learning to choose -as well as eat -foods that nourish me.
If you’ve ever struggled with your weight, your habits, or the way you see yourself, this story might feel familiar. It’s mine — but I have a feeling parts of it might be yours too.
I came into this world at 9 lbs 13 oz, so it’s no surprise I’ve always been on the chunky side. Weight has felt like a lifelong challenge — at least in my mind. When I look back at old photos, I can remember exactly what diet I was on at the time… always trying to lose 10–20 pounds, always chasing that “smaller, better” version of myself.
I tried everything: calorie counting, low‑fat, low‑carb, Weight Watchers, TOPS. Many of them worked… until they didn’t. I’d lose the weight, hit the exciting number, and then gain it all back — plus more. The highs were thrilling, but the lows were crushing. That yo‑yo pattern followed me for decades.
At 50, menopause hit, and it hit hard. AI knew I needed help. I went to see a hormone specialist and she told me I needed hormones, but she also refused to prescribe them because I smoked. So I quit — just like that - and I did it using Allen Carr’s Easy Way. I have never smoked again and If you knew me at the time, you’d know that for me to quit smoking, it had to have been nothing short of a miracle.
Fast‑forward 15 years (and at least 15 pounds), and even though I had quit smoking, I had simply replaced it with food. Once again, I needed help. When I found another Allen Carr book — Easy Way to Quit Emotional Eating — it opened my eyes. I realized my hardest habits were never about hunger; they were about comfort. The same urge that once sent me reaching for a cigarette had shifted to food. So it’s no wonder that, especially at night when I was tired or overwhelmed, I turned to chips, chocolate, and salty snacks… not because my body needed fuel, but because my heart needed soothing.
If you’ve ever been an emotional eater, I know you can relate.
But now - I’m learning that I can eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full. Going to bed feeling satisfied instead of stuffed feels amazing. And the real breakthrough was seeing that it was never about the food — it was about the feelings underneath.
You see, I wasn’t eating because my body needed fuel. I was eating because my heart needed comfort. And I didn’t know another way to give myself that.
With Allen Carr’s help I am learning… slowly but surely - but I’m learning. I am becoming so aware that, it is not about perfection — it’s about progress.
I’m becoming aware of the patterns. I’m noticing the moments when I reach for food because I’m tired or stressed or emotional. I’m learning to pause. To breathe. To ask myself what I really need.
And slowly — ever so slowly — I’m changing the habit. That in itself is a lesson for me, because I’ve realized I’m a bit of a perfectionist — and an impatient one at that — but through it all, I’m learning to be more gentle and kind to myself. Not through shame. Not through restriction. But through understanding and compassion.
I really am making peace with who I am. I’m no longer eating just to lose weight — I’m eating to feel healthy, to be kind to my body, and to fuel it in ways I didn’t always do before. Moving my body, nourishing it, and finding a balance that feels good… that’s been the real key for me.
What is it they say…slow and steady wins the race…my newest mantra. It just feels right.
So that’s my story. If you’re still here, thank you for sticking around. If any part of it resonates with you — if you’ve walked a similar path or have wisdom to share — I’d truly love to hear from you. Let’s keep this conversation going, together.🌸
ps If you would like to join me and the ladies in my Group - From Shadows to Shine Circle - where we talk all things but for sure the joys of aging and how to navigate this truly beautiful yet often challenging phase of our lives, you are more than welcome.🧡
Here is the link: From Shadows to Shine Circle | Facebook
Until next time,
Darlene
